WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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