R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
