I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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