he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
