And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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