how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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