My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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