I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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