i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
