At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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