I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
