She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
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There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
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I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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