Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
