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There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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