I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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