the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
