I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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