I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
