Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize