Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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