Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i barfeds in our rink
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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