Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
