the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You had me at "let me see your balls"
A+ Viking dick
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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