i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mom said you looked used
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
