I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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