we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
