Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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