I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
