i think my tv is drunk
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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