two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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