Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
