Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize