There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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