In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
