Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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