As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
