I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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