I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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