I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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