This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
