The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
