Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
