I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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