listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
