Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You need a sexual gate keeper
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
