You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
time to smoke my breakfast
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
