You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
