Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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