TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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