i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
