bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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