I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How's work?
Spinning.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
