On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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