sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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