They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
