Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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