i permit you to call me
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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