allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize