My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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