his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
